Sorry I haven't been posting anything for a long time. I haven't had much to say, to be honest, and every time I sit down to write I seem to run out of ideas.
It's weird because right now I feel like I'm in some sort of in-between place. What had driven me before for so long, the race to get into college and get scholarships, is over. Now I feel like I'm simply waiting for August to come.
The funny thing is that at the same time, I've begun to feel nostalgic about the city I've grown up in my entire life. I'm starting to realize its value. While before I used to hate the city, its traffic, the people, the heat... I've come to the conclusion that I still hate those things about it but also how much I love Miami in spite of it. I love the massive sky above it, almost always so blue and infinite. I love the palm trees spiraled with fairy lights during Christmastime. I love the closeness of the ocean, the way I could always run down to sit by the bay at night whenever things get too hard at home.
I guess that's something I'll always pursue in my life, no matter where I go. The soft whisper of the waves beating against the seawall. The bright lights on the horizon, rising up so high they consume the stars. Now my time is coming to venture far from my city. It's much colder where I'm going, and the nearest body of water does not compare to the ocean I have come to see as my own.
However, the leaves there turn gold and crimson in the fall. The hills rise and fall for miles and miles. There's history everywhere I turn, the history of a state of pioneers and my family. I find Indiana beautiful as well, and I might come to see it as a second home soon enough. But second is not the same as first in my heart.
On my flight home from Indianapolis in December, as the plane was banking over Miami and I watched the grid of city lights draw close, tears began to come to my eyes. I think it was then that I realized how much I would actually miss my hometown and my childhood, despite the excitement I felt then and I feel now for the future.
I hope I find something akin to the beauty of the ocean when I go to Bloomington.
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